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| ugh, idk I just wanted to write some shizz down.
i'm really retarded; which of course my only comeback to that is: Get out of the country.
I was reading something about, "accepting people as they are" with flaws, awesomeness and everything.
I really think this is something I have to take to heart..but the thing is when I meet someone for the first time..I do accept them, I guess my problem is.. I think i want everyone to be nice...in a perfect world.
Like somethings I hear, I act indifferent when I hjear them...but like how can someone do that....lmaoo, i'm weird.
lol, i'm such a freakin artsy person, like I find myself because such a non-conformists for the littlest things, things that shouldn't matter.
I think I have a WAYY to high standard for other people; and before I used to let everything just never get to me..even in the summer;
Now i dont kow what's wrong with me...but I usually start the school year off in the wrong foot.
Idk, i have to rethink a lot of stuff.
Sometimes too, I wish I had better friends(lol this freakin ipod update is taking forever!!)
like, before, (in japan of course), my friends would help me translate and ask to stay out later...idk, they were just really nice people
but im not in Japan! :]
I just want someone I can be myself with, somewhere where I dont have to act...that i'm really happy and having a good tim, with this talk I might as well end up like Thoreau and live in some cabin in Japan, or El Salvador.
Brighter note:
I'm applying to go aborad again! it's hopefully going to be soooo much more easier now, and with financial aid and a scholarship I think i'll be good to go; can't wait : D
I prolly wont be blogging it..i'll prolly just be taking TONSSS of pictures, like i need to take a thousand more than in japan, they weren't enough lol.
And talking about cameras im getting oneeee, and it's tres tres magnifque! :] J'adore le Canon :]
can't wait :}
"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. "
Zora Neale Hurston
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| I never thought coming back here would be so hard.
This is ridiculous.
Nothing makes sense.
Once, when I before I was going to Japan, i read someone's blog, and all her post AFTER coming back were like...depressing. She said in her blog that, "everyday she was miserable back home"...when I first read that, I thought she was being overdramatic....there's No way that I could ever feel miserable with my friends and my life.
Now, idk...
When all of us first went there, they told us that we would mature so much, and that we would feel like we couldn't keep up with my friends:
That's exactly how I feel.
And then, I see pictures and I speak with the people who I went on exchange with; They're happy. And I can't help but thinking there being ignorant, having fun living this life, because You have too, but then again they're Seniors and i'm not.
I thought it was just me, but I realized last night...I dont get why I'm like this:
I treat people how I would like to be treated,
I dont ignore my friends, I listen, I back them up...
But when it comes to doing those things for me.
There's nothing there.
I guess I really know how to pick my friends :]
I want to get out of here.
They ask me, "what do you want to be. What do you want to do?"
And all I really want to say is:
I want to see the world. I want to be away from all of you.
quote:
A Sailor:Can I help you, ma'am?
Blanche DuBois:Why, they told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemetery and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields.
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| Ughhhh, just having a GREAT week today...nawt
My parents are officially crazy.
But that little chat I had with mah Seniors was SOOOO worth it<333
(love always to Dunkin)
And plus having a little fun once and awhile doesn't harm me;
Anyway, this weird psycho reaction that my parents had for walking home with my friends just reiterates the idea of:
GET THE HELL OUTTAH HERE, NOW!!!
so, i now REALLY know that i'll be not living at home when I go off to college; I couldn't bear spending my life In Everett, it's not my swagggg.
That's not half the reason i'm madd either, today I was suppose to chill with mah girlssss, and just hanggg,
but since my parents are psychotic..that didn't happen
I really wish I was half as bad as they think I am....then maybe I would feel guilty for walking home with my friends......
= fail
On a lightrer note: IM GETTING A RAISEEEEE, WOOOO!!!
really LOVVEEE, my job :]
Also, it's my birthday on Thrusday!!! I'm looking forward to all the MONAHHH i'm gonna get :D
I really miss my zune, even though it was chunky and huge...it was all about the musiqueeee,lol
God, i hope this situation with my parents..because it's beyond stupid.
Oh and btw, for the user that commented on ym last post: I'm not Japanese I just stayed there as an exchange student for the summer... Omoshikkatta desu yooo!
I'll leave you guys with the greatest story ever:
"Standing there in her jeans and teal shirt, she looked small and beautiful...Mirroring the sky above their heads, her dark eyes sparkled with the sheen of stars and determination that, at any other time, he would have admired. If only she weren’t giving up on him, when minutes ago she had been gazing at him as if he were someone he wasn’t, someone better...The maiden scuffed one of her red high top All Stars against the pavement. “I don’t think I came into your life at the best of times.”"
-A.Iram
I'm gonna draw that one day.
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| Lately, I've been feeling reallly... inspired.
But i can't still believe, this world. It's moments like this..that make m y summer seems like a dream:
Today when I was walking down the stairs, clouds that were filled with rain just ready to burst( how ironic), I saw the sun, like when i was there.
Maybe i'm crazy; I think we all are, to live in a world like this, i think you have to be.
lol, what the hell am I on.
Stupid depressing people getting me all depressed. That's la vida for you. Today was just worhtless, but I feel dumb calling today worthless, because over there all my days were worth more than anything.
I love my english teacher= I get him.
My classes are pretty chill though, so it's whatever.
I can't wait to leave everyone, and everything. My okasan said, it's on for Summer part deux!
Get the applications ready! not to mention the oh-so-lovely stress :]
Frankly, I like being busy... I don't have any time to think too much. And right now, it seems that thinking is all i'm doing.
Impossible- Situation:
I go to Boston meet the bestest person ever, we become friends, and the end. No if,and or buts c:
Hate all this BS (some i oblivious bring upon myself).
Well, im drawing again! but i kinda suck lol, it's what i get for putting my pencil down for about 3 months straight..like WTH was i thinking; What am I thinking most of the time?
Bueno, hoy que vine de ir a mi "paseo", todo era muy differente, no senti nada igual y me senti, por falta de una palabra mejor, aisolada. Pero, que podia ser mas que hacerme la sonriente, y riente, la que nunca le importa nada, la que siempre pone una cara alegre en este mundo.
-if you can read spanish well...lmao you prolly won't get what i'm saying because my grammar is horrible.
I love my japan friends, they are life-savers <3
Quote brought to you by the coolest girl in LA (Noeeelllle <333 me you and kokusai street)
“ So let’s futher advance to the next scene
Me sleeping next to you resting
You are the personification of all God’s blessings
Coming to me in just one physical being
One physical dream that I wanna redeem "
Lady Brown
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| I've been writting alot lately....stupid YFU exchange....like i seriously had to have the time of my life, lol, and come back here like wtf.
I wish i could just drop-our of school and explore the world.....I wish i won the lottery and forget my name, forget everything.
But i can't,
lol.
I've been researching scholarships to France..but it's tough..still i wouldn't mind going to any French speaking country. And it not that I have something against college study abroad..but that's just kinda let's party and have a ball and be all touristy, lol, I like homestays...like you get it, and you feel it, and you never want it to stop(lmaoo sexual innuendo)
And like the ones i found..they cost way too much; and the ones that I like, its either toursity or like 2 weeks with a host family....
which reminds me: I wanna call my host mom LOL. But i wouldnt know what to say(like the first time I called) lmaooo;and the second time with Noelle..thank baby jesus for that girl and her book.
But still...like this is so hard; I want to go on exchnage but I found this REALLLY awesome job which i'll apply to...but the thing is, i really want to travel, it's the blood in my veins! lol
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
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