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| *sigh*idk, today was a really bad day
like i seriously feel like dropping out of school, and working forever..
The situation itself is stupid: My mom is getting charged $900, for my phone bill, and I feel stupid and incompetent and idiotic, and just plain fucking stupid.
I mean, how is she going to get that money?? like she doesnt work in the summer, and I barely make $60 each month..and now with this trip to japan,
everything seems wrong; I dont care for my phone, I just care about the money.
I really wish i could help her, but what I am suppose to do? Sell weed, like prostitute myself? Like WTF
I feel, like everyone, right now..like why so many people drop out or why people are always so tired, and cranky and mad..it's because of this money.
However, with that said.. I still dont kno why she yelled at me, and blamed me for it?...was that going to fix the problem??
I know i'm the cause, it's bad enough..but what did she expect me to do? I have no money i go to school everyday and do my work , that's it...
idk, i just been crying since i found out for some reason..idk why
and this trip and my crush seem so stupid since, nothing that I'm doing is paying off..
I still feel like crying; and right now all I wanna do is fly to japan and breath...like actually feel happy
like right now, i really wanna go there..and just let go:
not have to worry about anyone
or anything
no money
no drama
just living....actually
living
:D
(makes me wanna smile)
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| Time to Buckle downJust like my title says: I have to get going
Like i've been coming home and done nothing, and been doiong only one homework assignment, like WTF
Seriously, i just need to do all my work; and then i'll have legit 2 months to just relax and lay around in heavenly japan, lmaoo
-So anyway to other things:
Tomorrow(Wednesday) i am busy,busybusy!!!! i have work till' 5(lmaoo co-workers <3333) and then i have to go get my haircut, because my hairstylists is crazy, and then i have to make a payment for YFU ( the last of the balance)
AND THEN i prolly have to do homework for english(research paper)
= Crazinesss
Ugh so well, i prolly wont be updating here anymore that much, with school and everything, but i will try!!
If anything just go on my exchange blog and i'll prolly be updating there much more often :D
Lmaoo, see you peeps in September(lmaoooo) Hopfeully not!!!
GO ON MY EXCHANGE BLOG!!! NOW:
http://seeingsun.wordpress.com/
quote:
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas A. Edison
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| Seeing SunOKAY!
I just made a blog at Wordpress.com....and it kinda sucks lmaooo
Xanga PAWNSSS:
1. for one thing you have to be a "paying member" to be able to change your alyout and all that jazz(however, you can customize things like your header and such)
2. it's just weird..and it kinda gets me madd
3. it makes me regret not staying on Xanga or not making one on Blogger
But anyway i'll post the link here, and excuse my crummy post since I am being rushed by my english homework and mom...grrrrrr...
Soooo, idk if i could just delete my blog and just go with Blogger or just keep flowing with Wordpress since I already downloaded the App. for my iTouch (hehe)
- Stroll down to my Japan Blog and tell me what you think; e-mail or write a comment :D
So yeah that's basically it: i really don't wanna write anything Japan realted since it's supose to be on my OTHER blog but basically this is what's going down:
1. I went to the walk for hunger and it was BOMB- I will right about it next entry(hopefully)
2. im getting a TB shot TOMORROW!! i'm gonna cry(i'll remind myself to write my expirience with the walk for hungry dyring my job hehe)
3. I guess im going to the general Orientation at Fishkill, NY (OMGGG SWINNEEE) which is like 3 hrs. away
4. * This is the Killer* IM GOING LEAVING IN A MONTH, ommmmgggggggggg like already??????
well, i have to leave right now i have a TON of homework to bs
:D
quote:
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.
George AIken
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| This Moment Today...
Today was different.
I went trhough it like every other day, but i felt so different; i can't even explain it....lol, that sounds so slilly and cheesy
I smiled I laughed and everything, but it wasn't the same....lol
maybe it's the fact that i'm going to japan; and for the first time in forever, i'm really nervous and anxious.
I called the admissions people again, and i find out I leave for Japan the 7th(I'm SURE of it now) and i come back either the 30 or 31st of July!! Tht'as like 7 weeks in japan??!!!??
I think, today was different, because today it really hit me that I was leaving, and maybe a 'subconscious' self was trying to record every single aspect, so I wouldn't forget all that I have here
-lol, sory for that LJ moment, lmaoooo
Well, i FINALLY thanked Mr.O'keefe , and he was really happy for me, and i'm definately going to get him something(and mr.luongo too lol)
hehe, he told me that I only need to know two things in a foreign language to live:
- Where's the bathroom?(i know it's something like toire wa....desu ka, lmaooooo, i'm dead)
-and Beer, please ( kanpai??lmaoo jkjkjk)
but then he goes "nevermind, nevermind, your underaged" lmaooo, he's crazy
And then with Mr.Lombard, yoooooo he's mah homieeee, lmaooo
our conversation with each other was funny:
LL-B(Mr.Lombard- that's his street name) : So, your going to... China?
Watashi/Me(why not start now?): Japan
LL-B: Oh yes, i knew it was somewhere in Asia *we both laugh*
lol, then the conversation goes boring and he ask me when i leave, and he says that he needs to ask the adminstration(*nervous*) and the teachers if it's alright with them; or..i'll have to soften their opinions about me going abroud with my ak 47 :D (jkjkjkjk, we don't own guns in the hood)
Sooo, yeah i'm feeling really bad with my mom...she has to pay $2000, and she seems so tired; and i feel REALLY guilty, i mean she has to pull 2 thousand dollars out of nowhere, and she also has to pay my sister's braces(which cost fifteen hundred), and like i don't even want to ask for shopping money or anything like that;
However, i talked with my grandmother, and she said I should go becuase I didn't have a Quinceanera, and because the scholarship covers all flights and stuff, so i knda feel a little, but not by much :/
So my Goals:
-Learn to swear in japanese ( imma cuss you out when i come back, lmaooooo)
-Learn how to say Gangster in japanese
Goals Before Going to Japan:
Learn how to express myself (oh geez..)
Learn how to Conjegate verbs
-learn how to read kanji(simple verbs),hiragana, and katakana for karaoke!!
Quote:
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
Aristotle
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| "For the Moon Never Beams."unn..
Well, remember how I was like all complaning about my friends knowing that i was going to Nihon(japan! :D)
WELL, they were so cool about it; im just going to go on a shopping tangent and get them everything!!!
To other things:
-I haven't been sleeping at night, lmaoo; so today i came home from school after 3rd periood Art(hehe)
and i feel a asleep for legit....4 hrs WTF?
IDK, recently i've been just thinking about leaving school...for Japan lol
Today i found out that i'm leaving like on the fifth(of June, YES!!) and my mom just looked at me like I was leaving for a war or something; lol, it's going to be a war with my and the language, lmaoooooo
My last day of school will be the 5th!!!!! and i leave for Japan on the 7th(the days in between are the California orientation!) which is like in 37 days!!!!!!!! omigawd!!!!!
However:
the language....
i swear to god, japanese is the hardest language; but then again I do know how to speak english with it's million irreguilarities, sentence and pronoun agreemtns, and so on...
I really need to learn these verbs
:D
Quote:
"Tooi hoshi ni Oinotetta"
(the only sentence i understand in japanese, lmaooo"
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